Recharging Your Relationship….

Now you may wonder why I would write an article about developing better relationships.

The reason is….. I believe that people who are in a relationship of any kind, whether it's family, work, or friends will be significantly affected in all areas by their mental health if they spend time focusing on the external issues rather than taking personal responsibility for their own thinking.

Research has proven that those who choose to be happy are more productive at home and work. Developing a better relationship with yourself will help you develop a better relationship with others! Here are some ideas to think on for developing a strong and healthier mental state.

LISTEN :

Communication is the key to understanding, and listening is the key to communicating. Too often we are not listening, but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what people are saying, and working to understand them we are making mental notes of what we will say in response.

This is particularly true for males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our partners argument, rather than really listening to the words they're saying and the manner in which they're saying them.

Why not invest time this week to understand your partners words and feelings?

SCHEDULE Your Growth :

A regular time to go out or spend time together is extremely important to the growth of your relationship. With today's busy lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships on the back burner and take them for granted. While we might have every intention of spending regular time with our partner, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule that leaves us little time for our most important work… Relationship Building. Work fills our time, the kids need loving and attention. our hobbies consume us.

Once we understand the value of the relationship with our partner and its effect on our overall life we will make time with our partner a major priority and schedule a specific time each week to be alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship.

Be sure to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your time together.Set a specific time and commit to it. In fact, it is probably best if you and your partner sit down and decide what time will work for you both and then put it in your day timer. If someone asks you if you're available at that time, you advise them that you already have an appointment. Decide that development of your partners interests are just as important as your own.

When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, respect, and devotion. When you come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, step back long enough to allow individual thinking from both sides which will enable you to come back with a new point of contact.

Then move in to a state of deeper listening where you can consider what your partner is sharing from an open mind. The simple decision to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!

Your partners love language :

There is a lot of talk recently of love languages…..What IS IT ?

IT is the way that each individual receives/understands love from other people. Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. Others appreciate verbal affirmations etc etc.

Our tendency is to show love the way we like to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out how our partner likes to receive affirmations of our love.
The next time you get a chance to listen to your partner, observe which of the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious effort to show your love in that manner. Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your partner.

Do you remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you did to show your love? But as time went along, you probably began to get weighed down with living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say "I love you," an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Recharge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.

FORGIVE Yourself :

I've done a lot of work with couples who were having issues, one of the most common issues I find is that they are holding something against the other and they aren't willing to forgive. The fact is that your partner cannot live up to your expectations nor you theirs. We need to understand that when we get to that point we need to ask ourselves… am i angry because im trying to get my partner to behave the way i want and if so , who says my way is the right way ?

So there is nothing to forgive them for… forgive yourself for not having recognized that you are stuck until now and then celebrate your awareness of that fact and move on.

If a relationship is to grow and last, the people involved must be committed to self awareness of their patterns so they can forgive themselves and ask for forgiveness from others then move on another. Those whose relationships last longest, and are the healthiest, are those who are committed to forgiveness.

I believe these thoughts and ideas will be helpful in recharging your relationship providing you take time to understand them and then implement them. I truly believe that if you put these principles into practice you will see your relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in turn will improve the quality of your life and others around you.God Bless

Your friend,

RevStuartBronson